Wow, it’s been over a month since I last posted; so this is going to be an update about what has been going on.
I was so near the end of my nursing course and all the stress that came along with it, got on top of me and I didn’t have any time to post, nor did I feel up to it, but it all paid off because I fount out that I have passed this year!! Woop Woop 🙂
So very close to the end of my course, I also had my driving test, of which, I stupidly messed up, hitting the kerb and catching the accelerator, whilst reversing round a corner, resulting in me getting stuck, I screwed up a few times after that, but it is not like it mattered, as I had quite fabulously failed in style, of course. This sent my OCD, anxiety and depressing sky high and the next day I didn’t want to even get out of bed, never mind leave the house; but the best friend forced me out, which now I am thankful for; because if she hadn’t, I would of stayed in bed feeling sorry for myself for days.
The following 3 weeks, leading up to my next driving lesson, my intrusive thoughts were ridiculously out of control but, I did my best to not act upon them and just sit with them until they eased off. After all of that, I finally had another driving lesson, which I was absolutely dreading. I have never felt so anxious over a lesson before, it was almost as bad as my first one!!, luckily though, my driving instructor is very understanding and knew that I would be struggling, as he knows all about my anxiety, OCD etc. Towards the end of the lesson I started to panic, so he was trying to calm me down, as was so close to home, it worked….. until I got back and was sat talking to him and I just had to get out the car and began to cry 😦 I felt so embarrassed because I have never panicked or cried in front of him, ever!! :/. He reassured me that OCD was lying: he didn’t hate me, that I can pass my test and informed me, again, that he is proud of me, for the fact I made it to the end of the test anyway, despite nearly breaking his car :’).
Everything is feeling better now; I went to a wedding at the week-end, with only one, small, panic attack, so therefore, I actually enjoyed myself. I saw my Granddad on Sunday and I also had another lesson yesterday, with NO PANIC ATTACK OR ANXIETY!! so that is definitely an improvement :). This past week has been pretty good to be honest and I hope it has been for you too :).
Basically, the advice I have got today would be, based on the past month is: No matter how bad things seem to get, just sit it through, breathe, relax, and it will get better, I promise you that 🙂
I hope you all have been well :).
Much love and warm thoughts to you all
– Stay fabulous
“Yesterday is history; tomorrow is a mystery; today is a gift- That’s why we call it the present” – Brian Dyson