This week so far I have pushed my anxiety to the top, doing things that normally I wouldn’t do because I would be too scared of having a panic attack, understandably. So here is a little update on this week so far.
I went for a lovely birthday with my Nanna, and some of the family, to celebrate her 86th birthday. Its hard to believe, looking at her, that she is 86!! She certainly doesn’t look it, as many people have also said.
I gave myself a lovely relaxing day this Tuesday, went shopping with my nan, met up with a few friends that I haven’t seen in a few weeks, and went to see my partner later that night. It was nice to take my mind off of coursework and the like for a little while, whilst just appreciating the people around me.
What really stood out to me was today, I went to college as normal, in the lovely British weather (pouring rain), to find that I have so much to do in a very little time space ( oh the joys of college *sigh*). I then had a driving lesson after; on my driving lesson I am usually a nervous driver as it is , when some plonk decides to pull out in front of me!! Now, usually I would of panicked but, instead of panicking I calmly continued; my driving instructor got more wound up than I did :’). I then decided to push my anxiety a little today; after my lesson I went home; now, my OCD has not allowed me to put out cigarettes in a long while whilst in the house, I’m currently getting better whilst out and about, but, today I managed it, and it only took me the same amount of time as a ‘normal’ person, who doesn’t have anxiety at all. So to me this is a big step although it may seem little to others. Sitting with the idea that I am going to have a panic attack, without checking was a big deal for me.
So bearing this in mind; my quote/saying/question for today would be, something someone once said, and that is; – What would you do if you wasn’t afraid?
So that’s my anxiety update / diary entry of the week so far. I hope you are all having a wonderful week so far. Take care and much love.
P.S – Stay fabulous, and just remember when you are out about about next time, and you are not sure about doing something, stop and think, what would you do if you wasn’t afraid?. Go and see if you can make a difference, take a step, you never know where it may lead you.